Wonder where Heathcliff Slocumb is?

So John Heyman seems to believe that the M's are in on the Derek Lowe sweepstakes, which I think is novel, but laughable. A 35 year old who wants a 5 year deal that would no doubt be in the $10+M range - well, it would take Bill Bavasi to do something like that, and he decided long ago to only do that for much lesser arms in order to leave his stamp on the organization. It's a dark brown smelly stamp that smells like shit, but a stamp nonetheless.

But with Jason Varitek also being a free agent made me wonder if we could somehow right a Woody Woodward wrong - correct one of the black marks in Mariner history that we'd all like to forget.

Let's bring back Jason Varitek and Derek Lowe and hire Heathcliff Slocumb as some kind of roving scout (roving only Portland strip clubs, maybe - but who cares, it's not the point here). It could reverse some kind of curse put on this organization, who knows. It's not like the M's aren't desperate enough to try - it could even put assess in seats!

While we're at it, let's sign Mike Timlin and Jose Cruz Jr. - and I'm sure Paul Spoljarik would appreciate running stats for Rick Rizzs or something of that nature...

Who's with me? Let's DO IT!

Brilliant

You know your team isn't highly regarded when traditional media sites can't even get the effing pictures right for your most prized free agent...

Maybe they really wanted to use a picture of Carlos Silva there instead, but they couldn't fit his giant fat head in the space. That was mean spirited, yes - but I don't hear any complaints...

Time for GMZ to call the Royals

With Coco Crisp getting dealt to the Royals, the budget makeover of the Royals-with-Cheese lineup is starting to get patched together. They've publicly said they need a shortstop - wanting to move Aviles over to second base and now that they have the OBP black hole of Jacobs to play first, Billy Butler just might become expendable.

The shortstop market really becomes Furcal, the O.C. (Orlando Cabrerra), Renteria, and "others". All those clowns are going to make a lot of money, for one reason or another - and "a lot of money" and "Kansas City Royals" don't get used together very often.

Thus, I think it's time for GMZ (M's GM, I refuse to try and spell his name) to call up Dayton Moore and say he's got a young shortstop signed to a cheap contract who has "lots of potential" (read: he stinks, but that opinion isn't shared by everyone that doesn't have to watch him game in and game out...). Betancourt for Butler.

I'm not going into the virtues of Butler, but there's a damned good chance that he would be the second best hitter in the Mariner lineup next season - which either should make you shudder, make you excited, or both.

Make it happen.