Gabe Gross. No, Really.

My practice swings are impeccable

We are stockpiling left handed Spring invitees apparently to try the "scared straight" technique on Michael Saunders.

The M's have picked up Gabe Gross on a minor league deal with an invitation to Spring Training. 

Where Jody Gerut was somewhat ho-hum, Gabe Gross is, well, eh... his Mother thinks he's damn handsome!

There was something to write about Jody Gerut other than being a pretty good outfielder.  Gabe Gross is a pretty good outfielder.

...

Okay, really - Gross is known as an awfully good outfielder, he's 31, and once in his career has had a decent bat.  Oh, man, I just threw up in my mouth a little bit because that's the most positive thing I could think to write. 

So Gabe Gross.  Mariner outfielder.  Maybe.  Please, no.