Carlos Silva to come through in a surprising way

Over at Chicago Public Radio they talked with Lester Munson, a senior writer for ESPN.com who had this little gem when asked about the Cubs chances in 2010:

"I think that we're going to be okay. I like Marlon Byrd. I think Carlos Silva, the new pitcher, may come through for us in a surprising way. So I am optimistic. I think the Cubs can win the division if they have a couple of good years from Soto, Soriano, Silva and some of these guys."

So here's speculating on the surprising ways that Carlos Silva may come through for the Cubs:

He will fit in a uniform
He miraculously solves Piniella's chronic hemorrhoids
He will win a game
He will not eat Geovany Soto 
His K/9 will crack 3.0 
He sews the holes in Aramis Ramirez's pants flawlessly
He will not perform at less than replacement value
He will show up
He appeases Wrigley crowds during blowouts by asking to have beer dumped on him
He does a great Harry Caray impersonation
He doesn't blame Fukodome for his performance woes.
He performs stunning rendition of "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" on the pan flute

Yeah, these would be surprising.  But a change of scenery can do wonders.

I'm not even going to touch the part about "a couple good years" from Silva.  Just too easy...