Sunday, January 10, 2010

Biggest Assholes, An Incomplete Mariner History

Kevin Mitchell - he reportedly cut the head off of his girlfriend's cat.

Carl Everett - headbutting an umpire and publicly embarrassing Jamie Moyer are probably enough.

Jose Paniagua - reportedly beats women. Not nice.

Jose Mesa - I don't know, he threw at little O every time he came to the plate.

Sterling Hitchcock - you don't question Lou Piniella when he comes to take you out of the game and then whine about being traded later.

Randy Johnson - he kills birds.

Scott Spiezio - you can't hit .064 for 30 games and then criticize the organization for dumping you. And you're a terrible musician, by the way.

Jeff Cirillo - unapologetic about collecting his paycheck after falling to pieces as a Mariner.

Milton Bradley - TBA.

Frankie Rodriguez - he did something, I just don't remember.

Ken Griffey Jr., version 1.0 - bent the M's over the table when he painted them into a corner, only allowed to negotiate with Reds. Now he's older, wiser, and a better tickler.


Great suggestion of Al Martin. See Paniagua. Don't hit girls. It's not nice. Bonus to Al Martin for having two wives, of course.


Anonymous said...

I always thought Chris Bosio was kind of an asshole... but then he got so fat that he looked like a younger version of Burl Ives. How do you hate on Burl Ives?

PP said...

Great list! Does Gaylord Perry make the list for cheating, or is that being too harsh?

JT said...

Griffey huh? Harsh. I guess the Seattle media wouldn't argue with you considering he wasn't very media friendly back in the day.

How about Al Martin? From Wikipedia:

1. Martin claimed to have played football at University of Southern California. In 2001, he compared a collision with Seattle teammate Carlos Guillén to the time he tried to tackle Michigan running back Leroy Hoard in 1986, when he was playing strong safety at Southern California. In actuality, USC and Michigan did not meet that year, and Martin was an outfielder in the Atlanta Braves' system at the time. Furthermore, USC has no record that Martin ever attended the university. [1]

2. In a September 1996 game against the Chicago Cubs, Al Martin spit out a large wad of sunflower seeds immediately after hitting a home run, prompting complaints from several viewers that Martin intentionally vomited on the field (similar to Jay Buhner).

3. In 2000, Martin was involved in a domestic abuse incident with a woman named Shawn Haggerty. She told police that they were married. Martin was already married to another woman at the time, making this a case of bigamy. Martin claimed that he did not realize the ceremony in Las Vegas (with Haggerty) was legally binding